Family Pastors as Shepherd-Equippers: A Biblical Identity for a Confusing Title
Introduction
Many new and aspiring family ministry pastors step into ministry with a question that rarely gets answered clearly:
“What exactly am I supposed to do as a family pastor?”
I have also asked this question repeatedly, as have others in family ministry and NextGen circles (Bettis; Blevins; Murphy; Wilson). The title has caused confusion.
The family pastors I interviewed for my dissertation research1 expressed that their positions often had unclear job descriptions and varying responsibilities.
The expectations are often unclear. Churches vary widely in how they define the role. Some pastors inherit a list of programs to run. Others are asked to fix whatever seems to be lacking in the discipleship of kids and families. It can feel overwhelming and confusing.
When I step back and look at the pastoral role through the lens of Scripture, the answer becomes much clearer. A family pastor is first a shepherd who equips others. This identity anchors everything else we do. It shapes our posture, our priorities, and our approach to ministry.
All pastors, including family pastors, should be Shepherd-Equippers, Entrusting Endurers, Intergenerational Unifiers, and Mentored Disciple-Makers.
Today, let’s dive into that first pastoral identity, the “Shepherd-Equipper.”
Pastors are Shepherd-Equippers
This identity isn’t trendy. It isn’t driven by ministry fads, which come and go. It comes straight from the heart of pastoral theology and the lived experiences of real family pastors.
Let’s unpack what that means and why it matters.
Shepherds: A Pastor’s First Identity
What does the title “pastor” actually mean?
When we hear the word today, we may think of a ministry position or a staff role in the church. But the New Testament paints a more personal picture. In Ephesians 4:11, Paul listed pastors and teachers as gifts that Christ gives to the church.
The Greek word used for pastor here is poimen (ποιμήν). Poimen is used eighteen times in the New Testament, and is rendered in most English translations as “pastor” (CSB, KJV, NASB, NIV, NLT) and in others as “shepherd” (ESV). This variation in translation stems from differences in how translators choose to convey the word’s original meaning in context and the historical development of the Latin term “pastor,” which is also rendered as… You guessed it!… “shepherd.”
This distinction matters. It means the primary meaning behind the title pastor is not merely someone who is a preacher, teacher, program director, or recruiter. A pastor is a shepherd. A shepherd leads, feeds, protects, and cares for his flock.
Scripture uses this imagery throughout the story of God’s people:
- Moses longed for a leader who would shepherd Israel so they would not be like sheep without a shepherd (Num 27:16–17).
- David shepherded God’s people with integrity of heart and skillful hands (Ps 78:70–72).
- Jesus called Himself the Good Shepherd who lays down His life for the sheep (John 10).
- Peter urged elders to shepherd the flock of God that is among them (1 Pet 5:1–4).
When we apply this biblical principle to contemporary family ministry, everything comes into focus. Family pastors are called to shepherd. This calling is relational and personal. Some of the most meaningful moments in ministry happen outside programs and schedules. They happen when we walk with families through grief or loss, sit with a child who feels unseen, comfort a parent facing discouragement, or support a volunteer who feels unsure of themselves.
To shepherd means we actually know the people under our care. We listen. We remain present. We help create safe and gospel-shaped environments where families can flourish. Shepherding is never rushed. It is never impersonal. It is slow, intentional, and faithful.
But shepherding is only the first half of this pastoral identity. Paul continued to describe the shepherd’s role and purpose as one who equips.
Equippers: What Ephesians 4 Means for Family Ministry
Paul wrote that pastors are given “for the equipping of the saints for the work of ministry” (Eph. 4:12). Shepherding and equipping belong together. We are not only called to care for people. We are called to prepare people.
In family ministry, this truth comes into sharp focus. Family pastors are not the primary disciple-makers of children; parents are. God has entrusted the home with the day-to-day “work of ministry,” family disciple-making. The pastor’s role, along with other pastors and ministry leaders, is to support and strengthen what God has already established.
Equipping parents is not an extra assignment or an optional ministry plan. It is part of the pastoral identity itself. Whenever a pastor helps a parent take a simple step toward discipling their kids, they are living out the calling of Ephesians 4. Whether you are teaching them how to open the Bible at home, introducing a simple family conversation starter, or encouraging them when they feel overwhelmed, you are equipping the saints for the work God has given them.
Many family pastors feel the tension of this calling. It is easy to get pulled into managing programs or meeting weekly expectations. But if equipping is central to the pastoral identity, then it must remain central in our ministries.
To be a Shepherd-Equipper means:
• Teaching parents how to have gospel conversations with their children
• Resourcing families with tools and confidence
• Encouraging parents when they feel unprepared
• Coaching volunteers so they can lead with clarity
• Helping ministries work together toward a unified disciple-making vision
Equipping is patient work. It grows through consistent relationship building, teaching, meaningful conversations, practical resources, and a steady encouragement that parents really can lead their children spiritually.
When pastors equip well, the impact multiplies. The ministry does not rest on the shoulders of one person. It spreads into homes, small groups, and volunteer teams. It results in parents growing in confidence, volunteers feeling supported, and the church becoming spiritually unified.
This is the heart of being a Shepherd-Equipper. We shepherd by knowing our people. We equip by preparing people for the ministry God has given them.
What This Means for New and Aspiring Pastors
If you are beginning your journey in pastoral ministry, this identity provides a solid foundation upon which to stand.
You do not need to be the most creative person on staff.
You do not need the flashiest programs.
You do not need to carry every burden alone.
You need to embrace the identity God has already given to you as a gift to His church:
To be a shepherd who equips others (parents, students, singles, senior adults) for the work of ministry.
Commit to These 3 Things:
- Know Your People. Be present. Listen well. Spend time with families.
- Equip Parents. Regularly proclaim God’s vision for the home through sermons, workshops, emails, texts, resources, and conversations.
- Release People into Ministry. Empower volunteers to do the work. Trust parents to lead their kids. Share the load.
When pastors shepherd and equip, discipleship flourishes. Not because the pastor is impressive, but because the church is functioning the way God designed.
Conclusion & Encouragement
This pastoral identity shapes everything else a family pastor does. It keeps the focus on people rather than programs. It pushes the ministry outward into homes and communities. It strengthens volunteers. It deepens relationships. It keeps the work grounded in God’s design for making disciples through quality time and relationships.
My encouragement to every family pastor is simple.
Shepherd well. Equip faithfully. Trust that God will use your gifts and talents to shape spiritually healthy families and the church for generations to come.
- My dissertation research will be published in book form soon. If you’re interested in a copy, please subscribe to my email list to be notified when it becomes available. ↩︎
